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Last American Outlaw


The movie that broke me to pieces and so I could pull myself back together again. Throughout life, we have multiple crises that change us, that crack us open like eggs, unravel us, torture us into hopeful growth. During the making of this movie, I was in one of those periods. Its hard to scale “the most difficult time of my life” because you don’t want to abandon all the parts of yourself that have ever felt that way by placing one on top of the other, but I can say without doubt, that this period was “the build-up of all those tumultuous times crashing together at once.” It was a period of facing the mirror, of making choices and decisions that would hurt others and forsake my previous self in order to, for the first time ever, honor myself. I’m sharing this because, my character Doe was experiencing that same metamorphosis in her world. It may have looked different, but it was the same story, of beginning to say goodbye to an old paradigm of life and taking a road into the unknown, into the “dark wood” to discover who she was. Last American Oulaw: Beautifully photographed and filmed as a “home movie,” Topper and Doe was a love story about being stripped down to the bare bones of vulnerability. The setting was in the desert, where ironically I had also been spending much of my time. The desert symbolizing to me, the liminal empty space between worlds. Topper and Doe didn’t follow the typical Hollywood format that satiates the audience, but that’s what made it so special, and so honest. Life doesn’t have a “beginning, middle, and end.” It has a million layers, all creating your own personal movie, or many different movies, of many different colors and many different shades.

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